Oh my gosh it’s been one of those days – and it’s not even over.
All day I’ve been sort of on the edge. My stomach has been clenched and I just feel like I’m going to crumble. I have to share my day with you.
I got up a little early because I had a lot to do this morning. We had a new employee coming over to fill out paperwork and I needed to be ready with both kids to take Arden to his preschool. In addition, I was meeting with a lady to try and sell some of baby things that I don’t need anymore – trying to get a little fun money.
I got out the door late, but who cares, at least I was out the door. Got over to Arden’s preschool and as soon as I spotted some of his classmates I looked up to see that the teacher accompanying them was not the teacher who had just started less than a week ago and whom Arden fell in love with right away. There has been constant turnover at that school since Arden started and he does not do well when there is change. So far, we’ve been able to get him comfortable through each change, but not without a lot of reassurance and listening to a lot of, “Mommy, I don’t want to go to school.” (Mind you, he only does this when there is a new teacher.) But this morning was a turning point. I’m over it.
I looked over at the administrator and said, “Uh, what’s the deal? What’s going on with his teacher?”
She replied, sincerely, “Oh, I am SO sorry (I had told them all about his love for this new teacher that is now gone) but Ms. Carmen had a disabled adult son to take care of and just couldn’t stay with us.”
Damn, I thought. She went on to say that she was doing interviews and was trying to find a permanent teacher for his class and maybe we could put him in Ms. Amelia’s class since she was a permanent teacher.
Over my dead body. That woman is a total bitch. I don’t want her near him. “Uh, that’s okay. I’ll just keep him with me,” I said, “and we’ll see how it goes on Friday.” Now, I really do like the school. It’s been a wonderful experience for him, aside from the whole nap trauma (the one where we learned that naps cause him terrible anxiety to the point where I wonder if he needs to be on antidepressants…okay, not THAT bad but you get the idea). I hate to make a change but this turnover crap is ridiculous. I mean, I’m not stupid, I know there’s going to be people coming and going – particularly in the price range I can afford, but come on! I think it’s time to get serious about finding another place, as much as I hate to.
Okay, so then we hit the highway to meet this lady. I had agreed to meet her in the middle because she lived an hour away and I felt bad that she was going to have to drive that far. Plus I thought there might be a better chance that she would buy from me if I put a little effort into meeting her and I am pretty eager to get rid of this stuff. Well, she did buy from me, just not enough to justify spending the money in gas getting to her and the hassle of dealing with the kids while we stood at my car (actually my friend’s car but we’ll get to that). Okay, fine. So we’re done with that and head back home. Lesson learned.
On the way home, Arden mentions something about going to the park. Yea. Okay, I thought. I’ve been so busy the last few days that I haven’t gotten to spend good time with the kids so it would fun to hang at the park a bit. However, by this time it was time for Addy’s nap and so I made a deal with Arden that we would go this place we call ”The Toy Place” after Addy woke up from her nap. And then I think, oh wouldn’t it be fun to invite one of Arden’s neighbor friends to go with us so I got on the phone with her grandmother.
While on the phone with her, I got into telling her about the daycare dilemma. And during this conversation, the kids started screaming and crying in the back seat and wouldn’t stop, so I had to end the call. This chaos had only ended seconds before we turned down a street in our neighborhood and I thought I spotted a neighbor/friend. I was kind of staring at her so that if she saw me (in this strange car) I could wave at her. Just as I passed her I saw a vehicle backing out of their driveway and I had to crank the car to the left to swerve out of the way! The other car’s tail-end was sticking into the street before they stopped. As I looked in my rearview, a little shaken, I saw the driver’s hand waving out the window as if to say, “Hey! What the hell are you doing?” Funny, because I was thinking the same about him! I started berating him out loud and usually when this happens I have no control over the words that come out. But this time, thank goodness, I was able to think ahead far enough that nothing regrettable came out of my mouth. Ugh. The bastard. (I did have the right of way, right?)
So anyway, we got home and put Addy down. When she got up we fumbled our way out the door. But I had noticed that my friend’s oil light would flicker on and off intermittently. Great. And when I couldn’t get a hold of her, my husband suggested that I take her car to the place she gets her oil changed and have them check it and top it off if necessary. So just before I got onto the highway, I crossed two lanes to get turned in the direction of the Jiffy Lube. Got there and in record time they were able to get the car taken care of – without even getting my kids out of the car (Historically, I’ve hated Jiffy Lube but this visit made me question that.)
And finally we were on our way to “The Toy Place”. We were about two minutes away from pulling into the parking garage when I looked into the rearview to see Arden’s head cranked to the side and his eyes closed. Great. He’s fallen asleep. Freaking perfect. This means that whatever outing we were on has abruptly ended. So I continued on past the parking garage and headed home. On the way home, Addy began to cry several times, surely because she was hungry. By this time it was now about 1:30 and the kids had only breakfast to eat. I was planning to stop somewhere and grab a bite, take it to a park and while Arden napped in his carseat, Addy and I would play and eat right by the car. But forget that idea because I just knew that wherever I went I would have to listen her cry throughout the whole ordering process, so I just continued toward the house – listening to her cry.
Unfortunately, my fuse was short from the time I woke up this morning and this crying was seeping into every crevice of my being – and inflating. I. Could. Not. Handle. It. I turned up the music hoping to get her sidetracked and when that didn’t work I continued to turn up the music. And when that didn’t cover the sound of her screaming I lost it…and I started screaming. Which woke up Arden and he promtly started yelling at Adalei to stop crying. “STOP CRYING I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO IT!” He yelled.
Oh great. Now I’ve dug this hole much, much deeper. Good going, Mom.
At that point I pretty much left the music loud and watched the kids scream from the rearview mirror. I’m not proud of myself, mind you, that’s just the way things went. I slid into my driveway with both kids still sniffling and Guns N’ Roses on the radio. My friend has one of those radios that keeps playing after you turn the car off until you open the door so when I thrust the door open, the music was surely audible for a good two to three seconds. I shut the car door and leapt to the front door and exclaimed, out loud to myself, “Great. This was a colossal f’ng failure!!” Except I said the real “f” word. Then, after unlocking the front door and whipping around to let get the kids out of their car seats, I made eye contact with my centenarian neighbor. She was sitting in her car, eyeballing me through her open window.
Fabulous. Did I mention she’s very pristine and perfect? Great. She’s probably sitting in her car trying to recall the number to the city’s ordinance division to have a cop come out and site me for noise pollution and possible child endangerment.
Bring it, Lady!!
And now, after the kids are to bed…
Well, yea, so it was one of those days. It quickly got calm once I got Adalei thrown into her high chair and tossed a broken banana onto her tray. She was immediately pacified.
And I dangled a lunch size container of ravioli into Arden’s line of vision and he was quickly mesmerized into silence.
It doesn’t take much sometimes…just a mother with food.
Glad this day is over.