Damn that Long Island Medium

September 23, 2012 in Life Lessons, Motherhood, Past is Passed, Pregnancy

Here I am, sitting here watching Long Island Medium, one of my favorite shows. Now I don’t care if you believe or not because you either do, or you don’t. I don’t really care. But I believe.

When I hear Theresa Caputo talk to someone about their loss of an infant it makes me wonder about all the losses that I have suffered; could all of those souls be waiting for me when I pass? When she transfers a message from an infant in language typical of a young adult, it makes me wonder, when does a soul even originate? Could those little “people” who I brushed off as a sad but normal part of life actually be waiting for me on the other side?

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve had five losses. I have two beautiful children who drive me somewhat batty but whom I want to kiss twelve times a night…but I had several losses before them…and I was never sure what sort of lamenting those losses were due. I always tried to keep it in perspective, that losses happened to many, many women but it was something that was rarely discussed. My sorrow was primarily dedicated to the loss of time…the fact that I would have to start all over, and how much time did I have left? Were things ever going to get better?

Sorry to share something so depressing but it was just on my mind so I thought I would quickly share it.

Word.

The insurance saga: when GD just won’t go away

April 23, 2012 in Anger Inducers, Life Lessons, Pregnancy

I’m not going to get into the politics of ObamaCare because frankly I don’t know enough of the specifics but I will say that SOMETHING needs to be done. Just this morning I made what was surely my tenth phone call to the billing department of the hospital where I had Addy. I am personally being billed for the entirety of her delivery because of a medical coding issue. Well, it’s a coding AND a law issue. Let me explain.

I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes during my pregnancy. And, for some reason, the doctor’s office processed the medical claim with gestational diabetes as the primary diagnosis for my medical care. As it turns out, gestational diabetes isn’t covered under my maternity coverage – it’s legally considered a complication and is, therefore, covered under my medical insurance. TomAtoes/TomOtoes, right? Not so fast.

Well, the deductible for my maternity, although quite high, is much lower than the deductible for my medical insurance. And so, because my primary diagnosis was listed as gestational diabetes rather than a regular delivery, which praise God it was, that “complication” was put on the medical side rather than the maternity side of my insurance; I’m being billed for ALL of my hospital stay.

Most of you have children, right? Did you look at your hospital bills? Then you probably get an idea of what I’m being billed.

Of course I don’t get much help from the insurance company because, they say, they only process the claim as it’s submitted. They tell me I have to take up the issue with the hospital. When I called the hospital, they told me that if it turns out that the physician’s office is responsible for the initial coding issue which it likely was, then I’ll have to take it up with them, and ask them to change it. However, at this point, my issue has been referred to the ONE patient liaison who handles such matters and so please give it another two to three weeks. AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! It’s enough to make me want to pull my hair out!

It ticks me off that a pregnancy complication wouldn’t be covered under maternity insurance in the first place. It’s a pregnancy related issue. Pregnancy should equal maternity, nothing else. I went to the ER when I had one of my miscarriages on the advice of my midwife because I was away from home. Wouldn’t you think that this would be covered under my maternity insurance? Nope. It was a pregnancy complication and was processed under my medical coverage. I was charged for the entire ER visit because the bill was less than the deductible for my medical insurance. Bah!

What kind of country to do we live in where a person who sits on the couch anxiously watching Maury Povich to hear the results of another Baby Daddy DNA test gets their medical bills covered while the rest of us pay astronomically for insurance that barely covers a doctor’s visit? It makes me so mad. I know a number of women who have had children on the public’s tab. I know people who have had medical treatment for which they didn’t pay a dime. Who do they think pays their bills?

Ooooh!

I feel blessed that I’m in a situation where I can afford the little insurance coverage that I have. I understand that not everyone is this lucky. However, why is it my responsibility to foot the bill not only for myself and my own but for those who aren’t responsible enough to take care of their own business? I’m not talking about those with a mental or physical illness that legitimately prevents them from working a job that earns them enough to be entirely fiscally independent. I’m talking about those that have become so dependent on the government handouts that they do absolutely nothing BUT mooch from the system – the system that everyone else pays for.

Sometimes I feel like we live in a country that coddles the lazy and dishonest and penalizes those who take huge risks, work hard, and drip sweat daily at jobs they can’t stand.

Aaaahhh Deep breath – hold – and slowly release.

There. Much better.

I guess what it really boils down to is this: I should have known that damn gestational diabetes wasn’t done with me after I had Addy. Everyone said that it goes away after the baby’s born but they were wrong, wrong, dirty and wrong. If GD were a girl I’d slap her in the face.

Word.

 

The kind of love only a library can give

February 28, 2012 in Kidlens, Life Lessons, Past is Passed, Pregnancy

It’s a fact. I have an unhealthy relationship with my community library. I love it, with every ounce of my being. I can spend all day inside it’s loving arms.

Before I had kids, I would go there and spend hours. I would open up books, read a little bit and either slide them back into place, annoyed, or I would excitedly add them to my stack of take-homes. Back then I would read biographies such as Madam Secretary: A Biography of Madeleine Albright*, or historical fiction, such as The Queens Fool by Philippa  Gregory. I read books about Wal-Mart, and it’s effect on the global economy; I read books about the future of food; I read books on web design – whatever tooted my horn at that moment. But the most life altering book I got a hold of was called Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health, by Toni Weschler. This book started what is now a long distance relationship with my library.

With the knowledge I gained from this book, I was able to become pregnant after suffering my first miscarriage. Sure, I endured several more after that but this book taught me the realities of the ordeal and kept me on track. It changed my life.

Now I have two kids. Instead of spending hours at the library, I spend minutes reserving books so that some nice librarian can place them in a single spot for me to swoop up and check out in a flash – with or without my kids. Instead of biographies about political figures or sappy romance novels, I pick books about child development, brain games and nutrition.

I love that when I come upon a subject that I am only mildly curious about, I can jump on my library’s website, find and reserve a book, whenever I want to. Some might call me a nerd for this, but I prefer to be labeled as an informed mother who wants to do the best for her kids.

Just for grins, here’s a list of books that I currently have checked out from the library:

  1. Absolutely Organized: A Mom’s Guide to a No-Stress Schedule and Clutter-Free Home, by Debbie Lillard
  2.  Frozen Assets Lite and Easy: Cook for a Day, Eat for a Month, by Deborah Taylor-Hough
  3. The Best Homemade Baby Food on the Planet, by Karin Knight, R.N., and Tina Ruggiero, M.S., R.D., L.D.
  4. Starting Solids: The essential guide to your baby’s first foods, by Annabel Karmel
  5. No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog, by Margaret Mason
  6. WordPress Web Design for Dummies,by Lisa Sabin-Wilson

…and I’ve got a couple more just waiting for me to scoop them up. If this makes me a nerd then hand me the pocket protector and retractable pens, please.

Word.

*As a side note, this book introduced me to the name “Adlai”, as in Adlai Stevenson, for whom Albright volunteered during his presidential candidacy during the 1950′s. I thought it was pronounced Ad-a-LEYE (rhyming with “eye” at the end), and loved the name so much that it went on my girl’s baby name list. It’s actually pronounced Ad-a-lay. Now you know.